The Fathers Of The Future will be very different to the fathers of our past. At this point in history, and for the first time ever on this scale, men are under siege. I’m not making excuses for them. They have dominated almost every culture around the globe for thousands of years, so to blame anyone else but themselves would be ludicrous.
In the western world masculinity is a little bit ‘on the nose’. While little girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice, masculinity, in the mind of many, conjures up thoughts of domestic violence, racial hatred, terrorism, ego’s, bullying, inability to multitask, a little dumb perhaps? A little bit of Homer Simpson? And it isn’t hard to see why that is. All those stereotypes are there in full view day after day.
Does that mean ALL men behave like that though? No, of course not but there is a bit of that in all of us. When we feel our back is against the wall, we will fight. If we see weakness, we feel the urge to take advantage. Thousands of years of conditioning does not change in a generation. Men are instinctive more than intuitive.
Fathers Of The Future need help adapting to a new model. We don’t like to even talk about these things let alone face up to them. We need new role models to shape our self by. Not the Homer Simpsons but – See I’m struggling right now to find an example of a modern man to give as an example. Who is the male equivalent of Oprah Winfrey for example? Nelson Mandela perhaps, but even he was a radical freedom fighter in his youth and he spent years in jail as a consequence. Ashton Kutcher perhaps, I don’t know, please share your ideas on social media. Who should the young men of today look up to?
Meanwhile Look for, and see everything that is good in men. For some that will be easy, others it may be harder but there will be good to see. Even if the only good he did was help to create you that’s a wonderful thing. None of us would be here if it wasn’t for our father. That hasn’t changed yet.
Mothers, be mindful of the way you talk about your children’s father. Young children are listening and learning and taking in everything you say. It helps no child to hear their father being mocked or criticised. He may well not be perfect, but he is their father and that makes him very special to them.
Finally, to the men who have it all together, the men who are pumping iron at the gym, eating their greens, talking about their feelings, getting in touch with their emotions, taking care of their skin and carefully choosing their clothes. The fathers of the future.
Watch how the women of today are supporting and encouraging each other. Reach out to other men, not the others who have it all together just like you, the ones that don’t have it all together. The ones who are struggling to know what’s expected of them in a rapidly changing world. Reach out and help The fathers of the future.